In this holy ungraspable moment
Yuval Topaz Erez, a transgender man, shared intimate photos of his lovely homebirth on Facebook. The photos documented the beautiful birth of his third child, a process that was supported by his partner, Matan, and a crew of wonderful midwives. His post reached 231,247 shares.
What was fascinating and educating for me, apart from the photos which brought up so much, were the comments that his post received.
The comments were divided, generally, into two camps:
Many of the comments were supportive of him, appreciative of the opportunity to view this unique experience and grateful for Yuval’s courage and the inspiration that he evoked. This was also indicated by the large number of people who shared his post on their own pages or in groups.
Other comments, however, showed disgust, condemnation and a sensation of being shaken by this unusual sight –
“What is this??? Is it a man or a woman? If he’s a man – how come he is giving birth? And if she’s a woman – why does she look like a man and have a masculine name and identity?”
The comment that received the most likes was:
“Hhhhhhhhhhhh fuck to the Human .. what is this shit .so ugly.. really its importance to know man should have strong dick .. women should have pretty pussy.. thats end..”
And following this was a more subtle comment:
“Sorry for expressing my personal opinion, but if she wanted to be a man, then she should be one, from A to Z. Why become pregnant? It’s for women, not men. this is too far out. The beauty of being a woman is being pregnant and giving birth. I see a man here. A total man, giving birth. : /”
Through the eyes of What Really Is:
When I looked at these photos, I felt my mind become disassembled –
The solidity of the forms that I knew, up until this moment, of man and woman, all fell apart.
At first I looked and did not believe it: What was I seeing?
I could no longer categorize these sights into an already known box.
And then, the question arose: What do I do when I encounter a new order, something that doesn’t have its own box or a definition that I am familiar with?
Do I condemn, fear, solidify even more,
and then attack the ones that disrupt the order I know, as I am so used to doing?
Or, do I allow myself to feel everything I am feeling, even if for a moment those feelings are of disgust or rejection, because, when I really listen, I see that they are just a huge fear of something new and unknown?
Do I allow myself to be deeply shaken,
allowing all feelings to be,
and not know anything
In this holy moment,
in which a new wind initiates a storm,
I keep quiet.
What is left of me, when I don’t know anything?
A presence of love
that exists beyond any form, frame or definition, through which I discover something new and different, and
not only on the outside. Because I myself am no longer who I used to be.
He stepped inside my door – Eeva Kilpi
Let me know right away
if I’m disturbing you.
as he stepped inside my door,
and I’ll leave the way I came.
Not only do you disturb me,
You turn my whole world