He is in and out
He is in and out, touched and untouched, does a lot, sweeps many after him and then disappears, closes, and cuts off from the world.
He is very charismatic, says what others are afraid to say, looks straight in the eyes with a penetrating look, and then sits at home alone, watches TV for hours, does not see friends because it’s a great effort. And he is scared of getting old.
He finds the way to women’s bliss, delights them with his body, knows their desires better than they know themselves . He never really had love or a long and evolving relationship.
He flies to Thailand, studies in Brazil, visits a Master in Italy and worries because he doesn’t earn enough, he doesn’t build anything for himself, that he has no property and not even a pension.
He is super talented, all kinds of talents. He creates and heals, guides and teaches, has magic hands and almost everything he touches is admired. He starts and neglects, initiates and gets bored, forming partnerships that dissipate, and leaves behind whoever sought his closeness.
When I listen quietly to what is going on inside him, listening to the same thing that creates his life as it is, he sees the fear.
He is afraid to stay somewhere or in contact, because if he stays, he will see the gap between who he wants to be and who he is. He is afraid that when he sees this gap, and recognizes its size, he will not be able to face the pain and recognition that his fate is doomed to be medium and grey.
The beauty, the vision, the wisdom and the light he brings, for him are just a cover, a mask – camouflage. They allow distraction from the void that is really there, from the defective and flawed and despicable. Therefore, any compliment or amazement from him does not really excite him – and is perceived as a success in a battle he has already lost.
The Man is a mystery that is revealed. One who seeks to see his true nature, what he really is, one who wants to see beyond the scarves, masks and screens that the mind creates – will see.
The belief that says that if I’m not like I thought I should be – means that I am mediocre and lonely, leans on a more fundamental belief that says, that I am something fixed and made, that I am like an object or a machine operation. Hence everything is fixed and given and the world is built from predetermined corridors that once you enter your fate is decided.
The truth is, when I see that I am not where I thought I would or should be, it is a gate.
The truth is, when I see where I came from and what I have, what I understand and what the opportunity is – I actually look from a very narrow place that the mind has created. It is a staging of life, a creation of the mind, a world that is delirious.
The truth is, the particular place I am in now, is the only place I can see myself through. From there, the “I” I have invented can see the beauty of my true nature. Agreeing to see myself truly, opens fields of possibility and beauty that could not be imagined when we are living in the mind.
Mediocrity doesn’t really exist. There are no scales and no standards. A person is not a commodity and is not valued on the basis of its value in the market. Every single person is unique, with their knowledge and forgetfulness, with their beauty and confusion. Every moment is an invitation for others to see, remember and be. The very encounter with Him (??) creates a movement of life and is an invitation for them to see and understand anew.
Staying, feeling, seeing, letting go; re-seeing, being, being, staying. To be like calm water over which the other is reflected, there the world is reflected.